**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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