All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize