the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
