I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
