Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
