So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
