It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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