Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
