Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
