There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize