We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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