I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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