bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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