I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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