the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
