So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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