when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
