discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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