can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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