I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
