Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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