He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
