ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am available for nakedness
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
