Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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