Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
