Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
