matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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