I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize