I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
