I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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