I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
