if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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