I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
