Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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