oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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