But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
