The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
