You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
