No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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