Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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