it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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