Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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