One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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