i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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