Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
