Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
