ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
