whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
