I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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