I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
