Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
