i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
