Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
