i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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