my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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